When I was 14, I made the monumental decision to leave my home in Brazil and attend a boarding school in New England. The idea of studying abroad had always intrigued me, especially since I was already attending an American school in Brazil where several of my classmates shared similar aspirations. After much consideration, I chose to embark on this journey, leaving behind the familiar comforts of home for a new and exciting—but also intimidating—experience.
Preparing for Boarding School: A Piece of Home
Leaving Brazil wasn’t just about packing bags; it was about taking a piece of my heritage with me to share with the people who would become my new family. My parents and I wanted to make a meaningful first impression, so we carefully prepared gifts for the Resident Advisors (RAs) and dorm heads at my new school. We chose a handcrafted Marajoara bowl from Amazonian communities—a piece of art deeply rooted in our culture. To make it even more special, we had it personalized with my name, as well as the name of my hometown and state. Inside the bowl, we placed rich, dark Amazonian chocolate, hoping this small gift would help me connect with my new environment.
Presenting this bowl wasn’t just a gesture of goodwill; it was a way to introduce myself and my culture to a new place. I wanted the people at my boarding school to understand where I came from and what mattered to me, even as I stepped into an entirely different world.
First Impressions of My New Dorm Room
When I arrived at my boarding school, I was greeted by a small, modest dorm room that would be my home for the next year. The space was simple—two beds, each with a wooden frame, and two desks pushed up against the walls. It was just enough room for my roommate and me to live and study without bumping into each other. To make the most of the limited space, I bought bed risers from a used sale at the high school itself. Elevating my bed allowed me to store my luggage and seasonal clothes underneath, freeing up the tiny closet for everyday items.
As I set up my side of the room, placing my books on the desk and carefully arranging my bedding, the reality of my new life began to sink in. I hoped this dorm room would be my sanctuary—a place of comfort and solitude during this big transition.
Challenges with Roommates and Adjusting to Dorm Life
However, my hope for a peaceful sanctuary quickly faded during my first night in the boarding school dorm. My roommate had a friend who was a day student—a student who lives off-campus and commutes to school each day. Her friend would often arrive early in the morning, sometimes as early as 7 AM, while I was still trying to sleep. They would chat and hang out in our room, not considering that I was still in bed. This was especially frustrating because my classes often didn’t start until 10:10 AM, giving me the rare chance to sleep in—at least in theory.
Adding to the challenge, I had work jobs as part of the school’s program. Twice a week, I had to be up by 8 AM to cut vegetables for the dining hall cooks. These early mornings were exhausting, and I looked forward to the days when I could sleep in. Unfortunately, the frequent disruptions made it difficult to get the rest I needed or to feel truly comfortable in my own space.
One of the more peculiar adjustments during my first night in the boarding school dorm was the requirement to “sign out” whenever we left the dorm at night. This meant letting the teacher on night duty know exactly where we were going and getting their authorization to leave. Whether I was heading to the library or a rehearsal, it all had to be approved. This was a far cry from the freedom I would later experience in college, where the idea of needing permission to leave my dorm seemed almost silly.
As I lay in bed on those early mornings, overwhelmed by the noise and the loss of privacy, I often thought about how different this experience was from what I had imagined. The room, which I had hoped would be a refuge, instead felt like a place where I had little control over my environment. It was a tough adjustment, making the transition to boarding school even harder than I expected.
Looking Back: Lessons Learned from My First Night in a Boarding School Dorm
Years later, my mom told me that she had heard the messages I sent to a family friend during that difficult first night in the boarding school dorm. Unbeknownst to me, my phone was still linked to hers, and she listened as I cried and shared my feelings of loneliness and fear. She said it broke her heart to hear me in pain, but she also knew that this was a journey I needed to take. I made the decision to go to boarding school, and I never wanted my parents to feel guilty for my struggles.
Looking back, I realize that my time in that small dorm room—challenging as it was—helped me grow in ways I hadn’t anticipated. It was the first step toward independence, a lesson in resilience, and a reminder that not all sanctuaries are physical spaces. Sometimes, they are places within ourselves that we build over time, through experiences both good and bad.
Conclusion: Embracing the Journey
Boarding school was a significant chapter in my life, one that taught me about the complexities of living away from home at a young age. It wasn’t always easy, and it certainly wasn’t always comfortable, but it was an experience that shaped me into who I am today.
For anyone facing a similar transition, whether it’s to boarding school, college, or another new environment, my advice is this: embrace the challenges, lean into the discomfort, and know that every difficult moment is a stepping stone toward your growth. Your sanctuary might not be where you expect it to be, but it will come in time as you navigate your journey.
